


I'll Carry Your World

by SteadyLittleSoldier



Series: Carry Your World [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is smol and soft, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bathing/Washing, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, John takes care of his smol boyfriend, M/M, Modern AU, Morning Cuddles, Mpreg, Mute Alexander Hamilton, Muteness, Pregnant Alexander Hamilton, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans Male Character, trans!alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteadyLittleSoldier/pseuds/SteadyLittleSoldier
Summary: But this morning, it is a little different, it is special. Because the day itself is special. Or it has a chance to be special; it isn’t decided yet. Any day spent with Alex is special – John decides.





	

**Author's Note:**

> If any term here you find offending, know that it is not intentional, just correct me please :)
> 
> I went to the countryside last week and had to stay home for a whole day cause it was raining cats and dogs, got inspired and wrote this on my journal because I didn't have my computer with me. It was awesome to finally write a happy fic, a little break from the [angsty fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6333937/chapters/14512642) that I am writing.

John tenderly brushes the dark locks of hair away from the sleeping man’s face as he hears the tiny, almost inaudible groan.

“Are you alright, babe?” John whispers.

The shorter man turns only his head to look up at John through his impossibly thick, dark eyelashes; his big, brown eyes stare back at him for a second, his sleepy mind processing the question - as John sees his pupils constrict - before Alex nods. John smiles down at him mildly. Alex makes a sound deep in his throat, the closest to purring that a human can get, and lazily turns fully around to bury his face into the crook of John’s neck, draping his hand over John and snuggling, as his baby bump presses into John’s belly.

“Has it started?” says John, nuzzling his hair and rubbing his finger pads delicately on his belly where the nightshirt has ridden up.

Alex shakes his head, tickling John’s neck in the process.

John presses his lips on Alex’s soft dark mess, scratching the back of his head softly and sighs contently; his boyfriend sleep-soft in his arms.  After a while Alex pulls away to look up at John again, he blinks slowly, dramatically, the shadows that his long eyelashes cast dancing on his milky skin.

John has gotten used to these stares of Alex, and has grown to love it instead of feeling awkward. Alex doesn’t mean anything in particular when he stares like this; his expression is usually blank. But if he stares long enough for John to realize, he would see wonder in it. Alex would just stare up at him silently for a few minutes, giving equal attention to every feature of John’s face, just admiring, acknowledging his love for him, and in awe that he is here with him and how breathtakingly beautiful his boyfriend is. And John would look back and do the same.

But this morning, it is a little different, it is special. Because the day itself is special. Or it has a chance to be special; it isn’t decided yet. Any day spent with Alex is special – John decides.  
Alex’s blank expression says a lot more than any preacher could say in a whole evening. Today, his stare doesn’t only express love and admiration. He is letting John know that he puts his trust in him without uttering a single word (or signing in Alex’s case).

Kissing his forehead, John tucks his stray locks behind his ear as Alex sighs. “What do you want for breakfast?” Alex doesn’t sign his answer, just keeps staring at John, a request to know the options. He feels lazy today, and maybe scared, but he doesn’t let it show. “Pancakes?”

Alex signs, ‘No eggs.’

“No eggs? I see. Just fruits today?”

Alex nods, leaning up a little, asking to be kissed.  
It’s softer and more delicate when John kisses him, compared to how Alex has been preferring it for months now.

It’s hard to believe that it has been only ten months; it feels like forever to John. It feels like he has known Alex for ages - and not just two years - has been taking care of him for ages. It’s been hard for both of them, but John wouldn’t give it up for the world. They had their family and friends beside them. Their families have been so supportive, it feels like a dream. John almost fainted when he Alex signed that he was late. But he had to be the strong one, so he tried hard not to freak out. He helped his boyfriend with the pregnancy test, and held him close to his chest for the longest three minutes of his life. He wiped away Alex’s tears as he wept and no sound came out of his open mouth. He held him through the night as Alex fell asleep, the crying finally tiring him and the shivering slowly stopping. Then he cried himself to sleep. It was an accident and it was his fault, he should have been more careful. Alex had enough problems as it was. But he was insistent on keeping the baby, he was so brave. The Washingtons, Alex’s adoptive parents, weren’t too pushy about it, but wanted Alex to do what was best for him. But Alex was stubborn, and John was a constant pillar beside him no matter what Alex decided to do. He promised to take care of Alex, and do whatever it took.  
He told his own family and was scolded for such callousness for a long time over phone. But a few days later the Washingtons and the Laurens’ got together to find their sons an apartment near campus so they didn’t have to live in the cramped dorm rooms. George called a doctor that he knows, and John takes Alex to her for check-ups. George pays the bills as well. And every few week John finds some money credited to his bank account, he buys grocery with it, and necessary things for Alex, and sometimes indulges his weird cravings or surprises him with little things that he likes. And later he makes a thank-you call home.

And now when he has finally gotten used to this lifestyle, it is the day Alex’s contraction is supposed to start. He is kind of relieved, for Alex’s sake more than his own. Alex could finally go to classes without trying to hide behind John, and be dedicated to his work instead of feeling tired all the time.  
John has decided to go to nursing school instead of medical school which was his plan initially, because it would take a little less time to complete. It would also mean that Alex can do whatever he desires. Alex could sense that even though John kept insisting that being a doctor and being a nurse served the same purpose, only one would take less time. Alex tried to convince him otherwise, but John is just as stubborn.

John lets Alex suck on his bottom lip for a while as he caresses his baby bump.

“I’m gonna get your breakfast. Stay here, babe.” says John and pecks him on the lips before getting off the bed. He sees his lonely partner drawing circles on his belly with his fingertip as he goes to the kitchen.

He is cutting strawberries when Alex, rubbing his eye, slowly pads into the kitchen, swaying a little. He wraps his arms around John’s middle from behind and nuzzles his face into his back. John can feel Alex’s belly pressed against him; it’s too big for his scrawny figure, it looks almost like a fake baby bump when he walks wearing his regular clothes and not something baggy. John draws his hands out now when Alex walks, ready to catch his boyfriend should he stumble or fall, he looks so imbalanced. All of Alex’s shirts now ride up when he wears them, revealing his lower belly. Alex wears John’s t-shirts and hoodies the days he feels uncomfortable, the days that are a bit too difficult for him to live with this body.

John hums a favorite tune of Alex's and sways side to side a little as he puts the pieces of strawberries in the bowl full of fruits. He can feel Alex smiling. He puts yogurt in the bowl, just the amount Alex likes, and Alex stays clinging to John like a giant koala.

“Bed or here? says John.

Alex points towards the bedroom, continuing to nuzzle. He doesn’t sign, he is lazy today. He gets like that some days, and John understands why.

John turns and rubs Alex’s back soothingly. “Come on, honey.”

Alex is helped getting on the bed and he eats his breakfast silently after it is handed to him. It’s _fruit day_ today. Some days pancake is the best food in the world and he wants to eat it for dinner too. Some days are _no food_ day; those are usually the days when he throws up in the morning. But, of course, John doesn’t allow him to go without food for the rest of the day. But some days are _no egg_ days and he wants to eat fresh all day. Today is one of those days and John understands it, he doesn’t complain or pressure Alex as long as he is eating. John knows the drill; it’s routine. Breakfast, lunch, dinner – he knows what Alex might want for what on which day. And he has made it his life’s goal to cater to Alex’s every whims and make him as comfortable as possible.

John caresses Alex’s belly with the back of his pointer finger as Alex eats, paying it no mind. Only John is allowed to touch him like that – when all his guards are down, when his mind is relaxed and unalarmed.

John places a tender kiss on his tummy. “Do you want me to get your bath ready?”

Alex nods without taking his eyes off the bowl. He gets super hungry and has been eating more; except for _no food_ days. He suffered from eating disorder in the first few months of his pregnancy. John had to work hard to make him healthy again. So now he is glad to see his boyfriend too busy eating to look up at him.

John kisses his temple and goes into the attached bathroom. He holds his hand under the faucet - he knows just how Alex likes it – before he hears a pained whimper. “Alex?” he calls and rushes out of the bathroom to see Alex sitting up on bed, feet on the ground, eyes shut tightly, head hung, furrowing his brows and struggling to massage his hip. John dashes to his boyfriend and kneels down in front of him, hand tracing Alex’s before rubbing where he has been massaging.

“Aw babe, are you okay?”

Alex opens his eyes and looks at him; John is relieved to see no tears there. He signs, ‘I stood up too quickly, now it hurts.’

“Sweetheart, you gotta be careful with that.” John coos, rubbing his hip soothingly, the other hand resting on his belly protectively. “Don’t try to stand up without me again, ok?” Alex nods and after a while points towards the bathroom. “Sure you can go now?” Alex nods again. “Do you want me to carry you?”

Alex shook his head no, his soft dark hair brushing his shoulders, and signs. ‘I can walk. It doesn’t hurt that much anymore.’

“Ok.” John stands up, kissing his belly, and tugs at Alex’s shirt. “Hands.” He pulls his shirt off and Alex raises his hands in the air. He maneuvered him and pulled his sweatpants and boxers down and off. “C’mon, Alex, there we go.” says John as he helps him to stand up and walk into the bathroom. John turns the tap off and helps him get in the tub. Alex sighs and closes his eyes as he rests his head on the edge of the tub.

“The water’s hot enough?”

Alex smiles and gives him a thumbs-up before he starts cupping up water and dripping it down on his belly as it was barely submerged. He plays for a while as John folds his hands on the edge of the tub and rests his chin on them to watch his boyfriend play with his own tummy, and smiles.

“Are you scared?” says John. Alex shrugs before holding his hand up, his forefinger and thumb held a little apart. “A little?” Alex nods. “Yeah?” John smiles. “Well, don’t be. I will be with you. All the time. I'll take care of you.” Alex smiles back and nods, showing his teeth. “It will be a relief, no?” Alex touches John’s face with his wet hand, his smile mild now and John rubs his thumb on his belly. “And we will finally get to see him, and hold him.” It is a boy, they asked the doctor. And they decided on a name – Philip. He was to be Philip Lauren-Hamilton.

Maybe today is not the day Philip wants to come into the world. But it is a good day nonetheless. Alex is certainly having a good day. Alex likes having John home and taking care of him. They are not going to class today. Alex has stopped going to classes weeks ago, after he woke up one night bleeding, not heavily, only to go to the doctor and figuring that though it was rare but they had nothing to worry about. Alex spent the whole night crying and clutching John’s shirt, he got so scared. John e-mailed all his teachers the next day. Alex now does his assignments from home, but John banned him from working too much or staying up too late. He needs the rest.  
John has e-mailed his teachers and stopped going to classes for a few days now himself, to stay home and take care of Alex and the newborn once he comes out.  
Their friends help with grocery shopping and other works along with the Washingtons. Martha offered to help Alex with the baby when he is born so John could continue his classes. She will babysit too once Alex is well enough to go to classes. _You education will not be hampered_ – Martha said.

George and Martha are supposed to come later today, ready to take Alex to the hospital if need be. John will have to call and tell them that the contraction hasn’t started. Their friends would want to be at the hospital. They decided not to come to their apartment because they didn’t want to crowd the house and make the situation hectic. John was thankful to have such understanding friends. Alex doesn’t like crowed places; it doesn’t matter if it was filled with his friends. It is a reminder of his muteness, because he can hear everyone talking but nobody can hear his whimpers over the noise, and it makes him feel suffocated. John understands that, he understands Alex. And Alex trusts him and knows that he will ignore situations like these.

Alex looks up at John and lifts his chin; he wants to be kissed. John smiles and leans down to press soft kisses on his lips, caressing his tummy.

Maybe today is not the day. He has to call the Washingtons, they will insist on coming anyway, he knows, which is okay, in case the contraction started in the middle of the night. He will have to call his own family; they said they would like to meet the newborn, his siblings were excited. He has to reply to the thousands of texts that he knows his friends are sending him. He will have to prepare lunch. He has to do the dishes from last night and this morning. He has a million things he has to take care of. But right now he just wants to see his lovely, beautiful, perfect boyfriend play with his baby bump and kiss him every now and then. He wants to be with his family, even though their son is still in his boyfriend’s belly. It’s a good day, though maybe today is not _the_ day, but he waits for that day.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> There might be more in this AU. I have some ideas.  
> And if there's something specific you would like to see, just tell me.  
> Sorry for any typos/mistakes.
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> Now off to write my depressing fic!


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